you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
