Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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