he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
