Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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