Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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