he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
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I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
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I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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