just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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