Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
