i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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