Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
