dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
