this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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