Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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