Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
