Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
