Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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