I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize