found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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