she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
