I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
