Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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