The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
