Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
