Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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