Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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