so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
nutella sex= disaster
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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