That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I can't turn off my feet"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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