Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
