Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
