When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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