she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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