i think my mom watched the whole time
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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