she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
