You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
