Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
