She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
