Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
