is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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