Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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