Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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