one might say we're banned from that church
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
