I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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