You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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