Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We got so high we made milksteak
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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