wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
