Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
