now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
