So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
