Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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