I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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