the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
