His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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