he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
