The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
