Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
