Hippo gnu deer
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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