My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize