Ambien. No doubt about it.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
