erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
