i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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