Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
