she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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