come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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