kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
