I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize