Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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